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Learn eight signs of a marriage breakdown to help you address the issues before it’s too late.

Being in a partnership has its ups and downs, and many couples find themselves doubting their sanity when it comes to being in the marriage after many years.

People do not simply fall out of love most of the time. Instead, difficulties often emerge gradually over time, putting a relationship to the test. 

Knowing the indicators of a difficult marriage will help you decide if the red flags need to be addressed, especially because living in an unhappy marriage can have a significant effect on our physical and mental well-being.

8 signs of marriage breakdown

Eight signs of marriage breakdown include:

1. You don't communicate enough anymore:
   • An unpleasant marriage is marked by a lack of communication. Both of you may have had lots of topics to discuss at the start of your relationship, but somewhere along the way, you realize you no longer have anything to share with your partner and vice versa.
   • Communication is the most vital factor in a happy marriage because it allows partners to express their love for one another and exhibit a genuine interest in their partner's life. Not communicating means you're probably not working out problems as soon as they arise, which could lead to more issues down the road.
   • If you and your partner are no longer actively participating and spending quality time together or if you can't seem to have meaningful talks, it's time to rethink your relationship.
2. Intimacy has decreased:
   • An unhappy marriage is marked by a lack of closeness. When it comes to having a successful marriage, intimacy is important, but it does not always have to be sexual intercourse.
   • Physical affection and finding new methods to connect with your partner, such as having breakfast together or planning date nights to rekindle the romance despite a busy schedule, are equally crucial. Shoulder massages, spontaneous hugs, and words of care or encouragement to your partner can all aid in the development of emotional and physical closeness.
   • Lack of intimacy with your partner can swiftly elicit sentiments of rejection and unwantedness, which could indicate that you are in an unhappy marriage. It is critical to get marriage counseling early on to save the marriage.
3. You would rather be with your friends than with your partner at home:
   • Spending more time with friends than with your spouse could indicate a strained relationship. According to studies, successful marriages are ones in which the pair celebrates both their accomplishments and failures. Whether you have big news to tell or negative news to share, opting to share it with your friends and family rather than your partner can indicate that you no longer consider your partner as a rock of support.
   • Although some time away is important for a relationship, too much can cause problems. If you'd rather spend more time at work and are continually avoiding your partner, you may be unhappy, and you'll need to dig deeper to figure out why.
4. You are irritated by everything they do:
   • Everything they do frustrates you; this could indicate a dissatisfied marriage. What was once sweet and amusing has now devolved into resentment and disgust, with even minor disagreements escalating into major spats.
   • Little things such as the way they eat or talk may start to irritate you, and you may develop feelings of animosity toward your partner. When this happens, you should consider why you're feeling this way and how to address these negative thoughts in your marriage.
5. An emotional withdrawal has occurred:
   • An unpleasant marriage could be indicated by emotional withdrawal between spouses. Emotional disengagement is a strong indicator that you're subconsciously planning a future without your partner.
   • Emotional disengagement is frequently used to convince oneself that you no longer care to make the actual separation easier. Despite being in the same room, you or your partner may find you or your partner withdrawing from the connection and feeling distant from them. No one feels heard, and no one listens.
   • Being in an unhappy marriage on the verge of being toxic may be tremendously stressful. Allowing the cold war to drag on indefinitely is never a wise idea. Before it's too late, you might want to nip the problem in the bud and seek marriage counseling to repair your relationship.
6. You both have different values, beliefs, and objectives:
   • Differing values, views, and goals may indicate a troubled marriage. It's possible that “opposites attract” is what makes a couple want to marry. Different values, origins, and lifestyles, unfortunately, can soon become huge hurdles in a couple's growth.
   • Similar values, hobbies, interests, views, and family backgrounds are nearly rare to discover in a marriage. Couples with comparable values, cultural backgrounds, and lifestyle habits are simpler to comprehend and live with than those who are dramatically different, according to studies.
   • Many intense arguments in a relationship can be traced back to completely different parenting methods or distinct ways of spending money. Adopting a partner's set of views and attitudes toward life is usually easier than picking up a new hobby or breaking a habit. Getting marriage counseling sooner could help you find new methods to work out your differences.
7. Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling are all present:
   • Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling are all indicators of a strained relationship.
     • Criticism: It is attacking and blaming your partner for everything by focusing on their appearance, demeanor, and character such as "You are so foolish, you can't do anything well," "You are so old and ugly," and "You just care about yourself; you are so selfish."
     • Contempt: It is when you show contempt for your partner's feelings and use your ego to control the relationship. You begin to be snarky and assert your dominance over your partner by criticizing their self-worth.
     • Defensiveness: Refusing to accept blame for an issue and retaliating by insulting your spouse. You're always looking for ways to downplay the effects of your actions. "It's all your fault," or "I'm always the one doing the work."
     • Stonewalling: It is the act of shutting down emotionally rather than confronting problems openly.
   • Continuing to demonstrate these four characteristics can degrade a relationship to the point where mutual respect is lost. Self-reflection and acknowledging one's flaws may very well be the key to healing the relationship before it reaches the point of no return. 
8. Abuse, addiction, or adultery:
   • Abuse, addiction, and adultery are all indications of a strained relationship. For most relationships, the 3 As (abuse, addiction, and adultery) can be a deal-breaker that leads to divorce. It's difficult to overlook, forgive, or endure the difficulties that might derail a once-happy relationship.
   • Due to the extended feelings of humiliation, insecurity, and stress experienced by the spouse whose partner is addicted to such vices, alcoholism, or gambling addiction can destroy a relationship. Domestic abuse that is silently allowed by the victim over time typically leads to the aggressor increasing the level of violence to feel more in control of the toxic relationship. 
   • When a spouse is found to be unfaithful, it is common to feel hurt and angry on the inside. Even after one resolves to "forgive and forget" an unfaithful partner, such unhealed wounds can resurface in the future.
   • Insecurity is a significant relationship killer, and if you're continually terrified, apprehensive, or depressed because of your partner's activities, your marriage is in severe trouble.