Sexuality in Later Life
Foods That Will Bump Up Your Libido!
Viewer Question: Is there anything I can eat to improve my sex drive?
Dietician’s Response: If the recipe for a better sex drive was found in food, grocery shopping would take on a whole new meaning! This is a great question that has some compelling and some controversial answers.
Before deciding which to foods to try, you will need to figure out if there is an underlying cause for lack of sex drive. And the best person to help you with this would be your doctor. The compelling answers are based on research and often revolve around uncontrolled medical conditions. Fortunately, your diet is a key factor in controlling many of these conditions. Here are some examples:…
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What Else May Cause Sexuality Problems?
Surgery. Many of us worry about having any kind of surgery – it is especially troubling when the genital area is involved. Happily, most people do return to the kind of sex life they enjoyed before having surgery.
Hysterectomy is surgery to remove a woman's uterus. Often, when an older woman has a hysterectomy, the ovaries are also removed. The surgery can leave both women and men worried about their sex lives. If you're afraid that a hysterectomy will change your sex life, talk with your gynecologist or surgeon.
Mastectomy is surgery to remove all or part of a woman's breast. This surgery may cause some women to lose their sexual interest or their sense of being desired or feeling feminine. In addition to talking with your doctor, sometimes it is useful to talk with other women who have had this surgery. Programs like the American Cancer Society's (ACS) "Reach to Recovery" can be helpful for both women and men. If you want your breast rebuilt (reconstruction), talk to your cancer doctor or surgeon.
Prostatectomy is surgery that removes all or part of a man's prostate because of cancer or an enlarged prostate. It may cause urinary incontinence or ED. If removal of the prostate gland is needed, talk to your doctor before surgery about your concerns.
Medications. Some drugs can cause sexual problems. These include some blood pressure medicines, antihistamines, antidepressants, tranquilizers, appetite suppressants, diabetes drugs, and some ulcer drugs such as ranitidine. Some can lead to impotence or make it hard for men to ejaculate. Some drugs can reduce a woman's sexual desire. Check with your doctor. She or he can often prescribe a different drug without this side effect.
Alcohol. Too much alcohol can cause erection problems in men and delay orgasm in women.
Am I too old to worry about safe sex?
Age does not protect you from sexually transmitted diseases. Older people who are sexually active may be at risk for diseases such as
syphilis,
gonorrhea,
chlamydial infection,
genital herpes,
hepatitis B,
genital warts, and trichomoniasis.
Almost anyone who is sexually active is also at risk of being infected with HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. The number of older people with HIV/AIDS is growing. You are at risk for HIV/AIDS if you or your partner has more than one sexual partner or if you are having unprotected sex. To protect yourself, always use a condom during sex. For women with vaginal dryness,
lubricated condoms or a water-based lubricating jelly with condoms may be more comfortable. A man needs to have a full erection before putting on a condom.
Talk with your doctor about ways to protect yourself from all
sexually transmitted diseases. Go for regular checkups and testing. Talk with your partner. You are never too old to be at risk.
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Can emotions play a part?
Sexuality is often a delicate balance of emotional and physical issues. How you feel may affect what you are able to do. Many older couples find greater satisfaction in their sex life than they did when they were younger. They have fewer distractions, more time and privacy, no worries about getting pregnant, and intimacy with a lifelong partner.
Some older people are concerned about sex as they age. A woman who is unhappy about how her looks are changing as she ages may think her partner will no longer find her attractive. This focus on youthful physical beauty may get in the way of her enjoyment of sex. Men may fear that ED will become a more common problem as they age. Most men have a problem with ED once in awhile. But, if you worry too much about that happening, you can cause enough stress to trigger ED.
Older couples face the same daily stresses that affect people of any age. They may also have the added concerns of age, illness, retirement, and other lifestyle changes, all of which may lead to sexual difficulties. Try not to blame yourself or your partner. You may find it helpful to talk to a therapist. Some therapists have special training in helping with sexual problems. If your male partner is troubled by ED or your female partner seems less interested in sex, don’t assume he or she is no longer interested in you or in sex. Many of the things that cause these problems can be helped.
What can I do to have an active sex life as I age?
There are things you can do on your own for an active sexual life. Make your partner a high priority. Take time to enjoy each other and to understand the changes you both are facing. Try different positions and new times, like having sex in the morning when you both may be well rested. Don’t hurry—you or your partner may need to spend more time touching to become fully aroused.
Masturbation is a sexual activity that many older people, with and without a partner, find satisfying.
Don’t be afraid to talk with your doctor if you have a problem that affects your sex life. He or she may be able to suggest a treatment. For example, the most common sexual difficulty of older women is painful intercourse caused by vaginal dryness. Your doctor or a pharmacist can suggest over-the-counter vaginal lubricants or moisturizers to use. Water-based lubricants are helpful when needed to make sex more comfortable. Moisturizers are used on a regular basis, every 2 or 3 days. Or, your doctor might suggest a form of vaginal estrogen.
If ED is the problem, it can often be managed and perhaps even reversed. There are pills that can help. They should not be used by men taking medicines containing nitrates, such as
nitroglycerin. The pills do have possible side effects. Other available treatments include vacuum devices, self-injection of a drug, or penile implants.
Physical problems can change your sex life as you get older. But, you and your partner may discover you have a new closeness. Talk to your partner about your needs. You may find that affection
– hugging, kissing, touching, and spending time together – can make a good beginning.